by Nnamdi Elekwachi

Beer Parlour Talk

One: Ronaldo is not that good. I can say that because I, myself, am a good player.

Aficionado: Really? Which wing do you play in?

One: Touchline

Aficionado: You mean flank. Okay which of the wide positions, left all or right? Fullbacks? Wide midfield?

One: In fact, I play everywhere. Any leaking wing.

Aficionado: Oh, I see. You are a utility player. So when a wing or a position is not leaking, where are you deployed to? Like, which is your preferred position?

One: I like to play where I can score or defend.

Aficionado: Okay, then Ronaldo is not your problem.

One: What then is?

Aficionado: First discover yourself. Which wing you like, just like that. Discover yourself.

One: But I know myself as a full-time player..

Aficionado: Madam, serve him one bottle. Replace. Bill on me.

One: But you…

Aficionado: [Cuts in] But no buts… May the season afford you opportunity to discover yourself.

Curtain falls!

I’m off to Timbuktu 🚶🐪…

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